He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
