I look better un-naked...
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
of course. lets lasso hookers.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
