Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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