He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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