is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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