i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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