It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
