I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
