fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
The chlamydia really affected his face.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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