Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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