Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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