i just wanna soil my oats bro
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
