Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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