so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Two words: blizzard sex
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
