hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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