i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
