oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
