Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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