Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
We are all done wearing pants today
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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