The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
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