you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
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The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
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Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize