i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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