If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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