where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
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I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
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Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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