So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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