oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
