So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
my shit smells like andre
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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