I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize