I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize