Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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