i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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