the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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