Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I smell like Dick and happiness
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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