It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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