Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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