college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It's blow job season.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
