At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
