I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
