Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
