If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize