I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
