im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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