Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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