You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Congratulations! We have a period
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
