its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
