that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
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