I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
