What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Randomize
