i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
As shirtless as possible
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
