Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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