Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
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His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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