i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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