that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize