bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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