He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
